The new you

I often find myself watching TLC. ' A wedding Story', Little People, Big World', 'A Baby Story', and the list goes on. One show that I really dont like but find myself watching is 'What Not to Wear'. HAve you seen it? Family and friends nominate someone who dresses poorly(I know I could totally gt one the show), The hosts go through her wardrobe and make fun of everything that she owns, throw out all her clothes, give her $5000 and send her to New York on a shopping spree. I don't know, it just really bugs me. Because usually, they take a girl who is pretty but simple and not too preoccupied with the way they look, and try to turn them into a self obsessed fashion machine. In the end the girl ends up wearing lots of low cut tops, a ton of make up and staring at themsevles in the mirror saying"I love the new me, I look so sexy". It bothers me, because looking hot on the outside is not true beauty. A complete make over on the outside still leaves the inside dead. I guess I am just so bothered by the importance placed on dressing the outside. The Bible says that a woman is not beautiful but the way she looks, but because of her spirit, who she is.
I dont know about guys, but I think it is safe to say that pretty much every girl out there has thought at some point in their lives that they wish they were thinner, of prettier, or had less stretch marks or had bigger boobs, or a smaller nose... and the list goes on. The truth is, that is not and never will be true beauty. Christ is not concerened about the outside(in fact really the only scriptural thing about the topic is actually telling women to cover up their bodies). Im not saying there is anything wrong with looking nice, Im saying that in the long run, it means nothing.
See, with me, I know all this, but then I find myself looking at the magazines while I am waiting in line up, or just watching how a lot of guys check out "hot' women, and I find myself thinking about how Im never going to measure up. I find myself wondering how I will ever be enough for David, when there is so much better out there. These thoughts are lies straight from the father of lies himself. Because as I follow God, he will make me beautiful, the kind of beauty that cannot fade with age, but that grows with time.

the 11th

Well, it's April, half way through by now. The 11th was my moms birthday. Also it means that my wedding is only 4 months away. Wow time is flying.
I had given up on marriage, on love. Slowly I watched my older siblings and their fiends get married, thehn I watched as my own friends started meeting their true loves and it got a little harder for me to watch. And then, I started to see the younger "kids', the ones I councelled at camp and remember as kids get married. And I gave up. I decided God must want me to be alone. it was hard to deal with, bu I was learning to let go. and finally, one day in April, at Jamie and Penny's wedding, I met a boy. We talked for a while and went our seperate ways, he went home to bed, I went home and couldn't sleep cause all I could think of was that boy. David. Then we started to hang out, and let me tell you. I knew. From like the second week of dating. I knew he was the one God had planned for me. And all that is history now, we are in the homestretch to our wedding. I have so much left to learn about what love is. I have so much left to learn about being a wife of noble character, but I pray that God will teach me and guide me and mold me into the woman he has called me to be, the woman that David needs. Thank God for his blessings, for his greatness. His goodness to us despite our sin. Praise God.